Nothing, Everything and Light … the true ‘Holy Trinity’

Expanding on and merging 2 of my previous posts,  The (correct) God Formula and C, the Speed of Light (Spiritual Physics) leads me to conclude the following

N – Nothing
E – Everything


C, light, having the following qualities

The Internal quality of C = No Time, No Space
The External quality of C = Time and Space

N, E and C merged together leads to

N – Nothing = No Time, No Space = The Internal quality of C
E – Everything = Time and Space = The External quality of C

C is the binding element of N and E
C connects Nothing with Everything
C is the coin with 2 sides, N and E

The World as we know it is E, is Everything, is the external quality of C
But unseen, within, is N, Nothing, the internal quality of the same C

This is the true ‘Holy Trinity’

N – E – C

As Everything implies Creativity it follows that C, light, is Creativity itself
Creativity = Light, Light = Creativity

~ Max

Buddha Union by Vishnu108


The (correct) God Formula :)

For me 2015 was a year of change. A year in which I reached Zero Point. I knew this was going to happen from day 1 in 2015. I knew I had to let go, because that was the only ‘solution’ left to find the answer to my quest in the ‘Search for Happiness’. And it happened. During 2015 I had to let go of all things. I had to let go ‘Everything’. The year 2015 ended with me carrying my father to the grave the day before Christmas day, my wife being abroad, my work in turmoil, my hobbies turned upside down. And my ‘search for Happiness’? This ended by finding the answer … the answer being Nothing.

At the time of my fathers death, just before Christmas 2015, I said to the World and to the Gods, ‘Do what ever you want, the only thing I want is carry my father to his grave’. I had reached Zero Point.

After the burial, I felt a new freshness. I knew 2016 would be a year of come back. A year in which things would go my way. Not that I wanted this, or forced this. No, it just happened. My wife came back, my work changed, my hobbies revived. And although the ‘Search for Happiness’ had ended in 2015 with finding the answer, Nothing, I had not fully understood this answer. I knew it was the answer (because after 13 years I was no longer searching). But what did it mean? That question would be answered in 2016. As said, 2016 was the come back year. And understanding ‘Nothing’ was the most important thing that happened in 2016.

During the year I had several insights. In September I had the final insight into what Nothing is. And I posted this as The God Formula. Yet, in the back of my mind I was still tinkering with this. The formula is elegant. Sure. But I felt not totally convinced. I felt 99,99% convinced. I am convinced about Nothing, but the formula somehow placed Nothing in an awkward position. The elements Nothing, Everything, and the Holy Trinity of Creativity, Creator and Creation were positioned in such way that I still was tinkering.

The fun thing of ‘my 2016 year’ is that the correct formula was handed to me in the last hour of the year 2016. The happening was not even spectacular. I just came up with a slightly changed picture. I drew it on my notebook. Then I realized this happened just before year’s ending … and I smiled.

The God Formula

N – Nothing
E – Everything

C – Creativity
C – Creator, Nothing (The internal quality of Creativity)
C – Creation, Everything (The external quality of Creativity)


Nothing can not exist, (therefor only) Everything exists
The binding element of Nothing and Everything is Creativity
This is the ‘Holy Trinity’
Like a coin with 2 sides made of 1 stuff
The 2 sides is the Duality of Creator/Nothing and Creation/Everything
The 1 stuff is Creativity
Nothing/Creator is the ‘invisible hand’ of Creativity (the ‘expressing force’ of Creativity)
Everything/Creation is expressed Creativity (the ‘external result’ of this ‘internal invisible hand’)
In the western world we denote this ‘invisible hand’ with God
God is Nothing/Creator


Creativity is always everywhere
The Creation is what we usually call ‘Everything’ (what we can see, hear, feel, touch, think, do, etc. The world including you and me)
The Creator aspect can only be realised as being ‘Nothing’ (it can not be seen, it can only be realised)

~ Max

Buddha Union by Vishnu108

Hendrix, Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Emerson, Lake and Palmer made a song called ‘Oh, My Father’ in 1971, but never released it. It is a song unlike every other ELP song. Keith’s keyboard work is unregonizeable. It is the lead guitar which is on top. It nearly sounds like a ‘placeholder’ for a HELP track (Hendrix, Emerson, Lake & Palmer). Check out the similarities (1m15 seconds in the ELP track versus 15s in the Hendrix track). They are striking. HELP was never to be. Strange though that a perfectly good track ended up in ‘the bottom of some old road cases’.

Manhatten: What guitar instruments did you use on “Oh My Father” also lyrics for the song are hard to find

Lake: I believe I would have used a Gibson J200. This record was never intended for release and only came out because someone discovered it on an old tape in the bottom of some old road cases that I had in storage

The God Formula

The God Formula

N – Nothing
E – Everything

E = the Holy Trinity C

C – Creativity
C – Creator (The internal quality of Creativity)
C – Creation (The external quality of Creativity)


Nothing can not exist, (therefor only) Everything exists
The fundamental aspect of Everything is Creativity (otherwise there would be Nothing, but Nothing can not exist)
Creativity has 2 inseparable sides. Creator (internal) and Creation (external)
Creator is the ‘invisible hand’ of Creativity (the ‘expressing force’ of Creativity)
Creation is expressed Creativity (the ‘external result’ of this ‘internal invisible hand’)
In the western world we denote this ‘invisible hand’ with God


Creativity is always everywhere
The Creation is what we usually call ‘Everything’ (what we can see, hear, feel, touch, think, do, etc. The world including you and me)
The Creator aspect can only be realised as being the ‘internal aspect of Everything’ (in other words, it can not be seen)

~ Max

Buddha Union by Vishnu108

π is the expression of creativity …

Buddha Union by Vishnu108I have written several blog posts on the subject of Everything. I have posted them under the category Philosophy. I talk about Nothing versus Everything versus, about Duality, Trinity, the question ‘Where does Everything come from?’, Time and Space, etc.

In one of those posts I argue that Creativity must be a quality of Everything. Another quality is (Self) Consciousness. Those qualities are inescapable because otherwise (the) Everything wouldn’t be relevant.

Creativity in itself does not make sense. These things only make sense as part of a Trinity. Where Trinity is like a ‘coin’. A coin is made of stuff and has 2 sides. Creativity is the stuff, and the 2 sides are Creator and Creation.

So what about π ?

I quote from Wikipedia:

The number π is a mathematical constant, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, commonly approximated as 3.14159. It has been represented by the Greek letter “π” since the mid-18th century, though it is also sometimes spelled out as “pi” (/paɪ/). Being an irrational number, π cannot be expressed exactly as a fraction (equivalently, its decimal representation never ends and never settles into a permanent repeating pattern). Still, fractions such as 22/7 and other rational numbers are commonly used to approximate π. The digits appear to be randomly distributed. In particular, the digit sequence of π is conjectured to satisfy a specific kind of statistical randomness, but to date no proof of this has been discovered. Also, π is a transcendental number – a number that is not the root of any non-zero polynomial having rational coefficients. This transcendence of π implies that it is impossible to solve the ancient challenge of squaring the circle with a compass and straightedge.

I wonder, where does π come from? Who/what decided on the constant of π ? I remember reading Carl Sagan’s novel ‘Contact‘ in the mid 80’s. In that novel, Sagan has a mind boggling passage in which it is discovered that π contains a pattern, a ‘hidden message from the Gods’. Back then all I could think was ‘Wow’, because it was such a mind blowing idea.

But, Sagan’s Contact, is fiction. Not real, mind blowing or not. Yet, the intriguing mathematical constant π kept cropping up in my musings once in a while. Where did the constant come from? A constant is fixed. So what/who fixed it and how? Well, your simple answer could be, ‘God fixed it’. But unfortunately I can not go for that answer. It is too simple and too lazy. It is like saying ‘It is not my problem, God will take care of it’. Sure, but somehow it doesn’t feel right. As said, this way out is simply too easy.

No way out? Yes there is, if you look carefully that is. Because although the definition and the ratio of π are fixed, the number itself, the infinite row of digits, is irrational. And irrational is simply another word for …. Creativity. No matter how many digits of the row we will calculate, the next digit we find (by calculating) is a creative process. Only by calculating we find the next digit. No calculating, no next digit! So we, once again stumble on this ‘Trinity’ namely:

Creator (Calculator) – Creativity – Creation (Next digit)

As π is a center piece of Mathematics, it shows that Mathematics is founded on Creativity

~ Max

If you really understand Nothing …

Buddha Union by Vishnu108… you understand Everything

I am getting the impression that not a lot of people have a proper understanding of Nothing. No surprise really because it took me 55 years to understand Nothing. I mean, to really understand Nothing. Most people I guess think of Nothing along the lines of something very, very, very, very small. But Nothing is not something very, very, very, very small. Nothing is really Nothing.

Nothing is the counterpart of Everything

When we ask ourselves ‘Where does Everything come from?’ Most of us have no answer. And, maybe that is not so bad. Because maybe that is the answer.

So, you get clever people who might say that Everything comes from Nothing, is ‘born out of’ Nothing. But this is a misconception. This is not true. It can’t be true. The error is that those people still pose Nothing as something very, very, very, very small. Maybe they will put it more extreme and say Nothing is infinitely small. But you see what the ‘problem word’ here is? It is the word ‘small’. And even ‘infinitely small’ is a form of ‘smallness’!

But Nothing is not ‘a form of smallness’. Not even ‘infinitely small’. Not even a ‘singularity’. Nope, Nothing is really Nothing.

You might ask what use this is for us. What is the use of Nothing?

Well, it gives a very simple answer to the question ‘Where does Everything come from?’. Because it shows us that the question is wrong. The words used are wrong. Everything does not ‘come from somewhere/something/sometime’, no, Everything has always been. Why? Because it is the counterpart of Nothing, and Nothing can not Be. Nothing can not exist, not even as something ‘infinitely small’, not even as a ‘singularity’.

This might be very confusing and difficult to grasp. Therefor I will use a trick to make it more clear. A trick in which I introduce an error, and after that we eliminate the error, and keep the truth, the answer. Here it goes:

Q: ‘Where does Everything come from?’

A: Everything and Nothing live in an eternal cycle. Everything disappears into Nothing. Because Nothing can not exist, it instantaneously in an infinitely small time and space moment ‘gives birth’ to Everything. Think ‘Big Bang’ (which is said to ‘be born out of a Singularity’). Which in turn disappears into Nothing, etc., etc.

Now the ‘introduced error’ is that Nothing still is presented as something very, very, very, very … yes, infinitely small … in which Everything ‘can disappear’ and be ‘born out of’. But Nothing is really Nothing. It does not exist, so you can not ‘disappear into’ it, or be ‘born out of’ it. You have to eliminate Nothing from the equation, because Nothing is really Nothing. So, if you eliminate Nothing from the equation you get:

A*: Everything and Nothing live in an eternal cycle. Everything disappears into Nothing. Because Nothing can not exist, it instantaneously in an infinitely small time and space moment ‘gives birth’ to Everything.

A**: Everything and Nothing live in an eternal cycle. Everything. Nothing can not exist. Everything. Nothing can not exist. Everything. etc.

A***: Everything and Nothing live in an eternal cycle. Everything. Nothing can not exist. Everything. Nothing can not exist. Everything. etc.

A****: Everything lives in an eternal cycle. Everything. Everything. Everything. etc.

A*****: Everything is an eternal cycle.

A******: Everything is eternal.


This is why I am saying ‘If you really understand Nothing …… you understand Everything’

~ Max

The Tesla Baarn Crash (September 7, 2016)

Tesla driver dies in a Model S after hitting a tree, battery caught fire, Tesla launches an investigation

So, what happened? I am curious. A Tesla car. 6 am. Nobody on the road. Speeding. My estimate is at least 100 km/h (it is a 80 km/h road)

I gave the matter some thought. Went to the crash site myself. Shot some pictures. There were NO skid marks. The road is a straight stretch. 500m further up is a crossing with traffic lights. The driver surely knew this. My guess is that this man wanted to go to direction Amersfoort. That is ‘turn right’ at the crossing. For most other destinations (Amsterdam, Utrecht, Zwolle, Apeldoorn, even Arnhem) he would have not been on this road, but he would have taken the highway near Hilversum already)

Suppose he was toying with his Tesla (I’m guessing he didn’t have this car very long). Toying with the auto-pilot. And why not. It was early. Nobody on the road. A fairly straight road. Good road and weather conditions.

So, maybe he was speeding. Say 100+ km/h. And the Tesla was on auto-pilot. Now, if he wanted to go to direction Amersfoort he had to go right at the upcoming traffic lights. This upcoming crossing is about 500 meters away. Suppose (for easy calculation) the guy was driving 120 km/h (not uncommon). 500 meters would be 15 seconds. In 15 seconds he would have to turn right. Maybe he fiddled with the change lane/direction. Indicating the Tesla to ‘turn right’. Note that the road does not have a solid white line at the side, but a dashed line(!)

I don’t know about the Tesla … but could it be that ‘indicating the Tesla to turn right’ that the car actually would steer right, change lane, over the dashed line, straight into the tree?

Because this is the best scenario I can come up with. Other scenario’s are: Falling asleep, Heart attack, Doing something else (mobile phone), Suicide, etc. But … I prefer to include the Tesla into the equation. It is such an exceptional one-sided accident. Something definitely went very wrong. Very probably a driver error, but possibly in connection with this modern Tesla and its auto-pilot.

Update (sept 8): Tesla says ‘No auto-pilot’. The speed was 155 km/h.

So, if it wasn’t the auto-pilot. We go to the next best option. Suicide. High speed, big tree, no skid marks. I’m interested in the man’s destination.

Update (sept 8): Calculations

Using v = a . t and s = 1/2 . a . t^2 with v = 43 m/s and s = 480 m

From the crash site to the upcoming crossing (traffic lights) is 480 meters. He was driving 155 km/h. This translates into 43 m/s. The maximum deceleration a good normal car can achieve is 8 m/s^2. If he would continue to drive at 155 km/h he would reach the crossing in 11 seconds. If he would apply maximum deceleration of 8 m/s^2 it would take 115 meters to come to a halt. This translates into 480 – 115 = 365 meters before reaching that ‘apply maximum break’ point. He would reach that point in 8 seconds.

That means that if he had continued with the 155 km/h it would take only 8 seconds to be thrown into the position where he couldn’t even come to a safe stop for the crossing (traffic lights)

So, why didn’t he slow down already? Did he?

To give you an idea. If he would slow down starting at the crash site, it would take 22 seconds to reach the crossing. His deceleration would be 2 m/s^2 which translates to a decrease in speed of 7 km/h every second. That is 30 km/h in 4 seconds. So, if he would slow down controlled starting from the crash site, in 4 seconds his speed would be reduced to 155 – 30 = 125 km/h

One can argue that such a car can handle sportive breaking style. Maybe so, but the guy did crash into the tree, so somewhere down the line something went wrong. Therefor I repeat that there were only 8 seconds left for the driver to slow down if he hadn’t crashed into the tree.

The high speed (on that road) is slightly disturbing
The crash with no skid marks is disturbing
The fact that there were only 8 seconds left to ‘really hit the brakes’ is disturbing

Update (sept 9): Destination / Route

New info gave the name of the driver and the probable destination (His IT company in Baarn). Looking up his likely home address, I found that the route is only 7 km. So, he, driving at very high speed, would cover this distance in 3-4 minutes. Now, what was the hurry? It was early in the morning, iirc 6h00 6h15. He would arrive at his company at 6h20. Why so early? And why the hurry?

One could argue that the high speed was just because ‘he liked his car’. True. But then we have the time itself. Early in the morning. What made him go to his company so early? What is there to do?

Maybe, he had received an alarm. Maybe there were burglars at his company triggering some alarm. And he got up quickly and raced to his company. It could explain both the early time AND the hurry. But in that case one wonders if the police was contacted about the alarm going off. Still, it is a possibility.

Update (sept 16): Why so early?

In a chance encounter I spoke today with someone who was somewhat close to the victim. He also had been to the funeral. I asked him if he knew why the victim had been up so early. He said that the victim ‘always got up early to go to work’. It was his company after all. He liked his work. This probably answers the question of ‘Why so early?’

I asked him if suicide could be an explanation. But he thought this was very unlikely. There were no signs of this. On the contrary, things seemed to be bright and happy. Which again makes sense. Anyone spending lots of money on a special car like this Tesla Model S seems to ‘enjoy himself and his car’. Nevertheless, things can change quickly. A shock of some sorts can induce a sudden reaction. E.g. if the message comes that ‘You have incurable cancer’, a sudden unforseen (by people) reaction could happen, like suicide. But, as said, there seemed no sign of this on the horizon.

So, what then happened? Driving fast on a straight stretch. A crossing coming up within 11 seconds (or 8 seconds to ‘hit the breaks’). No skid marks. Hmmm, it is still a mystery what happened.

Time ( Spiritual Musing )

Buddha Union by Vishnu108Time is a funny thing. What is the purpose of Time? Well, if there is no Time, then there can not be a functional Consciousness.

Consciousness is not a ‘stand alone’ thing. Nope, Consciousness is a integral part of the Trinity Consciousness, Conscious and Self. I wrote about this Trinity. Trinity is like a coin. With 2 sides being Conscious and Self, ‘made’ of 1 ‘stuff’ being Consciousness. In order to Exist, it needs to know itself, it needs to be Self Conscious. Thus, the 2 sides need to ‘communicate’. The Trinity Consciousness, Conscious and Self needs a messenger. And that messenger is Light. Light ‘travels’ with the speed of light, C. I wrote about the speed of light C. C has an internal and an external quality. The internal quality of C knows no Time, yet the external quality of C does know Time. The internal quality of C is felt by the ‘stuff’ Consciousness. The external quality of C is felt by the 2 sides Conscious and Self. Because Self and Conscious ‘communicate’ with each other through the external quality of C, the communication takes time. Our memory only has relevance because there is Time. We ‘remember’ things from the past, and we ‘wonder’ about things in the future. Time. Without this Time effect there would be no Memory. This principle is the same for Self and Conscious. Being Self Conscious implies Time. And this needed Time is available through the external quality of C. Consciousness does provide the ‘messenger’ Light to the 2 sides Self and Conscious to ‘communicate’, but the ‘stuff’ Consciousness itself is does not need Time, knows no Time. Consciousness does this by using the internal quality of C which knows no Time.

Spiritual Musings :)

~ Max

Trinity is like a Coin ( Spiritual Investigation )

Buddha Union by Vishnu108

Trinity is like a Coin

A Coin is made of Stuff and has 2 Sides


2 sides are Father and Son

1 stuff is Holy Spirit

Coin is Trinity of Holy Spirit, Father and Son


2 sides are Knower and the Known

1 stuff is Knowing

Coin is Trinity of Knowing, Knower and the Known


2 sides are Me and the World

1 stuff is Consciousness

Coin is Trinity of Consciousness, Me and the World


2 sides are Conscious and Self

1 stuff is Consciousness

Coin is Trinity of Consciousness, Conscious and Self


2 sides are Good and Bad

1 stuff is Thinking

Coin is Trinity of Thinking, Good and Bad


2 sides are Creator and Creation

1 stuff is Creativity

Coin is Trinity of Creativity, Creator and Creation


2 sides is Duality

1 stuff is Unity

Coin is Trinity of Duality + Unity


Now, the Ultimate Coin is as follows …

2 sides are Nothing and Everything


The Ultimate Coin is a one-sided Coin ( because Nothing is Nothing, and therefor can not be 1 side :)


What is the sound of one hand clapping ?

What is the value of a one-sided Coin ?


Spiritual Mystery :)

~ Max

Buddha Union by Vishnu108

The Duality of Existence ( Spiritual Logic )

Who are You ?
You are Consciousness
You are the Fabric on which Everything Exists

Duality is the only thing that Exists

Duality is the only thing that can Be

Suppose everything is 0/zero (or flat)

If everything is 0/zero, nothing happens, there is no Time

The only thing that can happen, and in fact must happen is 1/one (or wave)

‘Happen’ is not the right word

‘Happen’ implies Time, it implies ‘Waiting for something to Happen’

But if everything is 0/zero there is no Change

And thus there is no Time

Hence there is no ‘Waiting for something to Happen’

Therefor no Time was needed for the 1/one (or wave) to come into Being

The ‘all 0/zero state’ needs no Time to Become (‘eventually produce’) a 1/one

The ‘all 0/zero state’ does not Exist because there is no Time to exist in

The ‘all 0/zero state’ is a Singularity

Singularity is the counterpart of the Duality of Existence

As Singularity is Nothing, Duality is Everything

Duality is the only thing that can Exist, the only thing that can Be (!)

Being is Duality

Duality is Being

Duality is Unity in Disguise

Unity is the 2 inseparable sides of Duality together as One

Unity is like a coin, and Duality is the 2 sides

Coin is another word for 2 Sides

Unity is another word for Duality

If you are Wise, you See and Accept the 2 sides of the 1 coin

Never can there Be just 1 side

The relation between Coin and Sides …

Is the same as the relation between Unity and Duality

Coin and Sides are the same thing

Unity and Duality are the same thing

Singularity is the counterpart of the Duality of Existence

Singularity is Nothing

Duality is Everything

Nothing, Zero, Flat, Singularity

Everything, Infinity, Wave, Duality of Existence

If you are on a spiritual path don’t be frustrated by the ever present Duality

There is only Duality

Become Enlightened by seeing that Duality (2 sides) is the same as Unity (coin)

Thus there is only Unity

You are Here in a World

This is Duality

As Duality is Unity, You and the World are One

What is the World ?

The World is everything which is not You

You are one side

The World is the other side

Together You and the World are One and Inseparable

But if You become Self Aware …

You travel to the other side and become part of the World

Then You and the World are one side

So what is left on the other side ?

Consciousness (!)

Therefor the Ultimate Duality of Existence is

Consciousness on one side

And you and the World on the other side

But Who are You ?

On which side are You ?

You are Consciousness

And the ‘you object’ on the other side is the ‘World you’

Is Consciousness Nothing ?

No, Consciousness is one side of the Ultimate Duality of Existence

The Real Nothing is the Singularity which does not Exist

Why is there Consciousness ?

Because only Consciousness knows it Exists

Thus only Consciousness is Relevant

Without Consciousness there can not Be Relevance

Consciousness needs Time to know it Exists

Time needs Space

Space needs Time

Time and Space are not Relevant without Consciousness

Consciousness is Time and Space

What is Time ? What is Space ?

Time and Space together is Consciousness

Time and Space is the Fabric on which Everything Exists

Consciousness is the Fabric on which Everything Exists

Who are You ?

You are Consciousness

You are the Fabric on which Everything Exists :)

What is the Relation between You and the World ?

You and the World are One in Duality

Just as 0/zero has to become 1/one

Just as Black has to become White

You have to become the World


The World has to become You

That is True Duality

That is the Ultimate Duality of Existence

You and the World are One in Duality

(in progress:)

~ Max

Buddha Union by Vishnu108

Wat is Verlichting (Lecture)

What is Enlightenment

N.a.v. deze lecture heb ik Paulus opgezocht. Met Google stuit ik op een aantal pagina’s waarbij ik de volgende als eerste opende … … En daarin staat hetvolgende. “Paulus was gebroken. Het leek wel of alles wat hij in zijn leven had opgebouwd aan godsdienstigheid ter plekke was verdampt tot niets.” In mijn lecture zou ik zeggen, “Paulus had zijn laatste horde, ‘zijn godsdienstigheid’, genomen (of afgebroken/ingezien) en werd terstond ‘verlicht'”. Van die ervaring moest hij 3 dagen bijkomen.

Zoiets gebeurde bij mij ook. Toen mijn (kennelijk laatste) horde neerging moest ik daar ook een aantal dagen van bijkomen. Wel moet ik opmerken dat ik, op het moment dat het gebeurde, oorzaak en gevolg, de horde en de zoektocht heb verward. Bij mij vielen de horde EN de zoektocht tegelijkertijd weg. EXACT tegelijkertijd. Ik dacht dat het wegvallen van de zoektocht primair was, en dat het wegvallen van de horde een bijproduct, een cadeautje was. Maar ik bleef dit vreemd vinden, alsof de verklaring niet klopte. Pas maanden later kwam het inzicht dat het precies andersom was. De horde was ‘mijn laatste horde’, en toen deze neerging was daarmee ook mijn zoektocht direct(!) ten einde. Verdampt. Het antwoord dat oprees was ‘Niets’. En mijn innerlijk oog keek met verbazing. ‘Niets?’. Ik werd verblind door dit antwoord en moest daar inderdaad een paar dagen van bijkomen. Totdat het antwoord ‘Niets’ langzaam wegebte en het normale leven weer zijn gewone gang ging. Maar de zoektocht was weg en bleef weg, en de (laatste) horde was weg en bleef ook weg.

Doordat de zoektocht was verdampt wist ik ook dat ik ‘het’ had gevonden. De logica dwong dit inzicht als vanzelf af. Ik zocht niet meer … en dus had ik ‘het’ gevonden. En wat had ik gevonden? Wat was het antwoord toen de zoektocht wegviel? Juist, ‘Niets’.

Ik accepteerde dit antwoord direct. Het was erg apart. ‘Niets’ … in de zin van ‘Er zijn geen verborgen lagen of waarheden of wat dan ook’. Of bv als ‘Er valt niets te zoeken want er is niets te vinden’.

Maar, je kan je afvragen, ‘Wat heb je dan al die tijd gezocht?’ Het antwoord daarop moet dus die horde zijn. Tot het moment dat die horde neerging liep ik nog rond met het idee dat ik iets moest manipuleren zodat ik daardoor gelukkig zou worden. En hoewel ik al dat gemanipuleer al lang zat was, hield het toch niet op … totdat het plotseling vanzelf wel ophield. In andere bewoordingen wordt dit ook wel ‘Genade’ genoemd.

Dus die horde ging neer, door ‘Genade’, en ik was terstond ‘verlicht’ van die horde. En omdat dat tevens mijn laatste horde was, was daarmee mijn zoektocht verdampt. Alle hordes waren weg ik nu had ik helder zicht op het geheel. Maar het geheel was transparant, het was ‘Niets’.

Als er ‘Niets’ te vinden is, kan er ook geen zoektocht bestaan. Logica. Oftewel, er is geen zoektocht, maar er is verwarring. Er is verwarring dat iets of iemand jou gelukkig kan maken. Dat lijkt een zoektocht, maar is een zelf opgeworpen horde. De horde IS de zoektocht. Als die verwarring oplost en de horde valt, dan valt daarmee vanzelf de zoektocht weg. Want (jouw) Zoektocht = (jouw serie) Hordes. Het antwoord is ‘Niets’. Er is niet iets dat jou gelukkig kan maken. Dat denk je alleen. En als dat door ‘Genade’ oplost, dan ben je ‘Verlicht’ van de zoektocht.

Het lastige is echter dat dit theorie is. Je kan het niet forceren. Want als je gaat forceren, gaat proberen die hordes weg te krijgen, wordt het forceren zelf een horde. Je gaat bv mediteren om de hordes weg te krijgen. Maar daarmee wordt mediteren zelf een horde. Mediteren mag. Prima, maar als je gaat mediteren met een doel (bv om de hordes weg te krijgen) dan heb je een probleem. Na een tijdje kom je daar achter en krijg je bv het idee ‘Ik mag geen doel hebben’. Maar dan wordt dat (‘ik mag geen doel hebben’) weer een doel op zich. En deze situatie is verschrikkelijk frustrerend. Want je wil zo graag dingen proberen, maar het proberen zelf is de horde geworden. Daar is uiteindelijk maar één oplossing voor en dat is totale overgave, totale acceptatie.

Vlak voordat bij mij de laatste horde wegviel en de zoektocht in elkaar klapte was ik ook ten einde raad. Ik had alles gedaan, gelezen, bekeken, bestudeerd, maar zonder enig resultaat. De zoektocht bleef of ik nu wilde of niet. Er moest dus iets klappen. En dat deed het. En toen dat gebeurde besefte ik gelijk dat ik daar niets voor had gedaan. Het was pure ‘Genade’ dat het gebeurde. Genade kan je niet forceren. Daar is volledige overgave voor nodig. Maar ook dat kan je niet ‘Doen’. Tsja.

Als je mij zou vragen ‘Wat moet ik doen?’ Dan zou ik zeggen ‘Onderzoek je eigen hordes’. Het zijn jouw hordes, het is jouw pad :)

Vous allez tout savoir, maxqubit

Overnight, between Saturday August 22, 2015 and Sunday August 23, 2015, I experienced a spiritual breakthrough. I believed it to be inspired by listening to the podcast Een stevig gesprek met filosoof Jan Bor. Yet some things, some pieces didn’t add up. It was like I had solved the puzzle and knew what the puzzle presented, but the pieces themselves didn’t quite fit. So, since that time I was busy thinking about those pieces. How to fit them. Until yesterday, because it so happened that I exactly solved the puzzle while walking my dog Charlie. As exemplified by my Spiritual Timestamp. But then I thought about the curious thing which happened to me some days earlier. As I believe everything has a meaning, I started to think about the meaning of that event. 273 x 481 ? … Now, me being fluid with numbers I felt 273 might be the number of days between the breakthrough on August 22-23, 2015 and the final solving of the puzzle on May 17, 2016. But calculating the number of days gave me 268/269 days. Close … but not exact. However, I felt positive the 131313 event was related to the spiritual breakthrough and solving happenings. May 17, 2016 minus 273 days gives August 18, 2015 … I browsed to that day in my email archive in search of a clue … and there it was :)
Vous allez tout savoir, maxqubit

PS: I maybe will write about the spiritual breakthrough itself in another post

273 x 481 ( Synchronicity )

131313 131313I wanted to write a little blog post about ‘Believe’. And I planned to use a simple math problem to explain ‘Believe’. So, I sat down at the computer, pulled up Calculator and keyed in two 3 digit numbers, at random, in order to use them in my blog post. I keyed in 273 and 481. The math problem becoming 273 x 481 = ??? But when I entered the equals = … it gave me the answer 131313. And I was perplexed by the odds of the outcome. Because just earlier this day I made a fun screenshot which had those exact same numbers … 131313. You maybe can imagine my surprise of the ‘Synchronicity’. Anyway, I decided to tell this story, and do the ‘Believe’ blog post at a later time:)

Edit: This post relates to Vous allez tout savoir, maxqubit

A hallucinating experience

Out … of … this … world. This track has a personal meaning to me. In 1989 I had a physical breakdown (due to doing a bit too much in too little time:), Pfeiffer syndrome with complications. Anyway, at the height of that crises I was lying in bed for dead … the TV was on, and with half an eye open I vaguely saw THIS clip. At the time it was aired multiple times. And it is the only thing I remember. I was very ill … and this clip was playing. A hallucinating experience.

This track is part of my Music One playlist